Divorce is a major turning point not only in the life of a person who does go through it but most especially to the children whose family is to be broken. Divorce is one of the most impactful turning points inducing stress in adolescents. It takes 1-2 year for most but for some children the impact and stress experience from having their parents’ divorce last a lifetime. Here are 3 tips to avoid getting a divorce.
Choose your partner wisely: marriage is no joking matter.
Choosing your partner is different from skimming through the best mattresses 2019 and picking out whatever catches your eye, it requires time and patience – don’t rush when looking for a partner, he/she will come when they’re meant to come. When you have hesitations about getting married to a person, observe how people in your surroundings see your relationship. As they say, love is blind sometimes the people outside of the relationship can see better – when people close to you give a piece of advice listen to it and take it into consideration.
Get help from the right people.
When you’ve already entered marriage and are experiencing problems, talk it out with your partner – keeping everything bottled up won’t solve your misunderstandings. Don’t put your problems under the rug, sometimes we give up only because of a simple bump in the road – learn to communicate and understand, as well as reprimand your partner. When proper communication between both parties seem impossible to get help from the right people and when I say the right people, I mean professionals who understand how the brain and human behavior works – get help from a trusted psychologist. Get help from a mightier being. Talk to God in prayer and read the bible, sometimes human reasoning just can’t explain what you are going through.
Retrace your steps and try to remember why you married your partner in the first place.
Finding fault in someone is easier than finding the good points of a person or observing whether you are wrong or not – sometimes a person just needs to give way and forget their pride for once for the relationship to prosper. Honesty and understanding are key, and when it gets hard to do so try to remember why you married the person in the first place – what is it about the person that made you love him/her? Try telling each other the points that you love about each other every day – sometimes things that get repeated every day makes you forget the meaning in them, just like how I love you’s lose their meaning when repeated over and over again.
What makes a marriage last, and what doesn’t? If you are to ask this question from someone who has been married for quite some time, he or she will probably expound on three (3) elements: mutual admiration, mutual respect and compatibility as the main ingredients to a lasting marriage. So if those three (3) elements are absent from a marital relationship,the marriage is likely to end in divorce.
Actually most unions start with couples having mutual admiration and respect for each other; regardless of shared lifestyle. Still,it is important that admiration and respect are not rooted on some superficial reasons such as physical appearance, wealth or influence. Otherwise, those feelings are likely to erode, as soon as such reasons are gone.
More often than not, those who continue to admire and respect each other even during rough and tumble times, as well as beyond youth and financial capabilities, stay married and endure whatever challenges and changes transpire during their union. Simply stated, it is all a matter of being committed to fulfill one’s vow of loving and cherishing a person for the rest of one’s life, no matter what.
The only problem is that it is always a case of “easier said than done.” After all, not all marriages are beset with the same problems.
Now if you are to ask a divorce lawyer why some marriages last, while some do not, he or she will probably discuss with your reasons based on statistics.
Important Studies and Statistics about Marriage and Divorce
Based on a 2016 survey, (the latest conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics), the divorce rate in the U.S. has declined to 3.2 per 1000 population, while marriage rate also declined at 6.9 per 1000 population. Recent studies conducted revealed that millennials who marry later, whilst married millennials staying married longer, are the main reasons for the decline in both aspects.
Although in the U.S., statistics have it that an average first marriage lasts about 8 years before the union ends in divorce. Of the sixty-six percent of marriages that ended in divorce, data showed that wives initiated the filing for proceedings.
According to a national survey, the following are the most common reasons why couples divorced:
73% cite lack of commitment as the major reason.
56% said they argued too often.
55% said they divorced because their spouse was unfaithful.
46% reasoned that they married too young
45% claimed that their spouse had unrealistic expectations
44% felt there was lack of equality in the relationship
41% acknowledged that lack of preparation for the marriage was the main reason.
25% said they suffered from physical abuse or domestic violence