A recently published relationship study conducted by researchers of the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada concluded that new romantic relationships will not have much difference from the last one.
According to lead author of the study, Matthew Johnson, a relationship researcher and a professor in the Human Ecology Department of the U of A, starting a new partnership does not necessarily mean things will be different.
After conducting an 8-year study of 554 people in Germany the results of the research showed that eventually, and once the magic of the honeymoon phase has faded, new relationships tend to have the same dynamics as in past broken relationships. New partnerships will likely fall into the same patterns in many aspects.
The study, which is regarded as among the firsts to explore the issue long-term, surveyed people at four points:
1. In the year before their first intimate romantic relationship ended
2. In the final year of that first romantic affair.
3. During the first year of the new relationship.
4. Finally, a year after the new relationship..
In those four points, several relationship aspects were assessed:
- Ability to open up to a partner.
- Frequency of sex,
- Frequency of expressing admiration for one’s partner.
- Confidence that the relationship will last.
The review revealed that Frequency of Sex and Expressing Admiration for the Partner, remained stable across previous and present relationships, but showed increased frequency in the rebound relationship.
According to Professor Johnson, the two aspects are directly dependent on a partner’s behaviour, which is why changes can be expected in those areas. Although the professor also noted that even if sexual frequency increased in new relationships, the level of sexual satisfaction stayed the same.
Study Author Says It is Important to Have a Genuine View of a Past Serious Affair When Moving into a Rebound Love
Although people tend to feel that there is something different in a rebound relationship, Professor Johnson said that it is because the new partnership is being compared to the point when the past partnership ended. When a new one is started, the relationship exists outside of the drudgery of everyday life like child care and housework. That is why in new relationships, everything is wonderful at first.
Professor Johnson gives advice that it is important to have a clear and genuine view of a past romance before moving into a new one. He reasoned that outcomes of a bad relationship tend to color people’s view of the entire aspects of a relationship, but
”having a more balanced view of the positives and negatives, will give us realistic expectations over a new relationship.”
Although the face of marriage in America has changed dramatically through the years. Nonethless, love still tops the reasons why couples get married. That is, if ever they decide to get married.
The Pew Research Center provided information that the trend of unmarried American adults cohabiting with their partner is currently on the rise. Pew gathered that In 2016, unmarried adults living together numbered as many as 18 million, a stark increase of 29% from the figure established in 2007. About half of those who simply moved in with their partners are below 35 years old. One interesting fact is that the other rising half of cohabiters in America are aged 50 years and above.
Apparently, in almost any group of generation today, whether Z, X, Millennial or Baby Boomers, most think that society no longer minds if couples are just living together or married. In a 2019 Pew Research involving the so-called Silent Generation, or people born between 1925 and 1942 who represent at least 20 million adult Americans, fifty-four (54%) also shared the belief living together without officially tying the knot does not make a difference in the present day society. Still, a sizable forty-one percent (41%) of this generation still think of cohabitation as a bad idea.
Now for those who do get married, a Pew 2013 Survey revealed several reasons why they decided to make their union legally binding.
Love still tops the list. The Pew Survey said that eighty-eight percent (88%) of Americans who responded, cited love as the foremost reason for getting married.
Commitment to a lifelong relationship was cited by eighty-one percent (81%) of the respondents.
Companionship is also a compelling reason for about seventy-six percent (76%) of Americans who decided to marry.
Other Reasons have been noted by a few, such as religion (30%), financial (28%) and legal rights and benefits (22%). Such reasons were interesting enough for Pew on which to conduct a survey.
Pew Research on Couples with Different Religion and Political Views
Even if love is still the main reason why people get married, Pew found out that a sizable number of couples got married even if they did not have the same religious beliefs.
According to a 2014 Pew Research about interfaith marriages, many were Christians who married a partner who do not belong to any religious affiliation. About thirty-nine percent (39%) who got married in 2010 settled down with a partner who has a different religion. When compared to those who wed in 1960, the figure reached only nineteen percent (19%). Suggesting that religion in modern American marriages is no longer as important as before.
Yet when it comes to political views, a 2016 Pew Research Survey revealed that seventy-seven (77%) of married or cohabiting Republicans and Democrats, settled or are living with a partner who supports the same political party as theirs.
What makes a marriage last, and what doesn’t? If you are to ask this question from someone who has been married for quite some time, he or she will probably expound on three (3) elements: mutual admiration, mutual respect and compatibility as the main ingredients to a lasting marriage. So if those three (3) elements are absent from a marital relationship,the marriage is likely to end in divorce.
Actually most unions start with couples having mutual admiration and respect for each other; regardless of shared lifestyle. Still,it is important that admiration and respect are not rooted on some superficial reasons such as physical appearance, wealth or influence. Otherwise, those feelings are likely to erode, as soon as such reasons are gone.
More often than not, those who continue to admire and respect each other even during rough and tumble times, as well as beyond youth and financial capabilities, stay married and endure whatever challenges and changes transpire during their union. Simply stated, it is all a matter of being committed to fulfill one’s vow of loving and cherishing a person for the rest of one’s life, no matter what.
The only problem is that it is always a case of “easier said than done.” After all, not all marriages are beset with the same problems.
Now if you are to ask a divorce lawyer why some marriages last, while some do not, he or she will probably discuss with your reasons based on statistics.
Important Studies and Statistics about Marriage and Divorce
Based on a 2016 survey, (the latest conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics), the divorce rate in the U.S. has declined to 3.2 per 1000 population, while marriage rate also declined at 6.9 per 1000 population. Recent studies conducted revealed that millennials who marry later, whilst married millennials staying married longer, are the main reasons for the decline in both aspects.
Although in the U.S., statistics have it that an average first marriage lasts about 8 years before the union ends in divorce. Of the sixty-six percent of marriages that ended in divorce, data showed that wives initiated the filing for proceedings.
According to a national survey, the following are the most common reasons why couples divorced:
73% cite lack of commitment as the major reason.
56% said they argued too often.
55% said they divorced because their spouse was unfaithful.
46% reasoned that they married too young
45% claimed that their spouse had unrealistic expectations
44% felt there was lack of equality in the relationship
41% acknowledged that lack of preparation for the marriage was the main reason.
25% said they suffered from physical abuse or domestic violence
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